Doctors Excuses

The Most Popular Doctors Excuses

These are doctors excuses that you never want to hear your own doctor make. Let’s face it, one of the last things you want to hear a doctor say is ‘Oops!’ You really don’t want to hear your doctor make any excuses in general, but doctors are humans too, we think, and they do things that other humans do like cheat on final examinations and staying out late snorting nitrous oxide when they should be studying. Some of these are excuses you could get your doctor to write for you, that is if you have any pictures of him out late at night with a call girl.

Some of the Most Popular Doctors Excuses

1. Oops! I was holding your chart upside down. You were supposed to get a colonoscopy, not a frontal lobotomy!

2. Well, I removed both kidneys since I needed to make a payment on my Mercedes.

3. Sorry, I ran out of thread so I used a zipper.

4. I can’t operate heavy machinery, drive an automobile or click a mouse while on the medication my doctor gave me for my back pain.

5. My doctor says I’m a hypochondriac and I’m afraid I might be contagious.

6. I have experienced the effects of this male potency drug I took for over four hours now and I need to see my doctor but I can’t leave the house because I walk funny.

7. My doctor says I have temporary amnesia and….something else.

8. My doctor says, with my personality, I don’t need birth control.

9. The rabbit died.

10. The doctor says they’re fresh out of type A blood so they’re going to use cherry Kool-Aid instead.

11. I need to return for another appointment. The doctor couldn’t complete the examination because he had a cast on his digital finger.

12.We had to cancel your appointment because when the office manager saw your medical profile she freaked out and all your medical records are missing.

13. You should discontinue taking your current prescription. The manufacturer has changed its recommendations.


You need to be a professional to use these excuses.

These excuses are intended for professional use only so you need to be a practicing professional to use them. It would help if you were a doctor as well. If you are not a fully qualified professional, see our list of amateur excuses and don’t try to use these professional doctors excuses.


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