Excuses To Use When You Call Sick

When You Call Sick, Have A Good Excuse Ready

So it’s the day of the Big Game or there’s that concert you bought tickets for and you need to call sick with a good excuse for missing work, or an excuse for missing school. Fear not, you have come to the right place, obviously. It’s the Encyclopedia of Excuses, where we not only provide lists of excuses for all occasions, we also provide good advise about excuse delivery so that your excuse is delivered to the best effect. We have trained many professional excuse providers and they all refer to the Encyclopedia of Excuses as their bible.

How to Call in Sick and Make it Stick

Okay, so here it is; when you call in sick, pick a very contagious illness. That way your boss or principal won’t even question it since they don’t want to risk getting it spread around or perhaps even catching it themselves. That being said, here is our list;

Top Ten Call in Sick Excuses

1. I have the Bird Flu and I must be flying south for the winter.

2. My kid has this high fever and is projectile vomiting. Oh and he also has diarrhea. I could probably make it in, though. (Don’t worry, they’ll tell you to stay home and take care of the kid!)

3. My daughter is projectile vomiting this green pea soup and twisting her heads all the way around, 360 degrees. The priest is coming and I need to be here to let him in.

4. I have temporary insanity; I only have it on the third Thursday of each month.

5. I have laryngitis Oh yeah, this is my er, son, calling for me.

6. I have this rare illness that might make your pecker fall off. The doctor wasn’t sure if it’s contagious or not. Should I still come in?

7. I have Mad Cow Disease so I’m pretty mad right now.

8. The doctor said I’m allergic to Mondays.

9. I got food poisoning from some bad roadkill.

10. I have insomnia, so I probably won’t be able to get to sleep at work today.


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