Funny Excuses

These Are Funny Excuses

Yes, these are funny excuses unlike the completely serious excuses you will find elsewhere on this blog. Well, okay, the excuses by famous people on the excuse quotes page actually are funnier. I think one of my favorites is the thing David Berkowitz said about not wanting to hurt anyone but only wanting to kill them. The man could have been a politician.

Funny Excuses that People Will Still Use Anyway

1. The devil made me do it.

2. She looked 18 to me.

3. Dude looks like a lady.

5. My iguana threw up on my homework.

6. I have to shampoo my cat.

7. I need to take my tarantula for a walk.

8. That wasn’t me, that was my parrot who said that.

9. I have temporary insanity most of the time.

10. My mother always liked my evil twin best.

Yes, There Are People Who Use Excuses Like These

C’mon, you’ve all heard somebody use an excuse like one of these. Remember the last time you found your best guy friend in bed with another guy? And when you questioned him about it, what did he say? “Dude looks like a lady!” Well, of course he just couldn’t own up to the fact that he had taken way too many drugs and was far too drunk. Or his prescription has run out on his glasses and he’s just been too cheap to get a new pair. Or he was out getting stoned when he should have been in biology class. Personally, I like to blame everything on my evil twin. One time I was in a store and the clerk said there had been a guy in who looked just like me so I said that was my evil twin. The clerk said “That’s what he said,” so I wrote a bad check and signed the other guy’s name on it because, you know, that’s what evil twins do. So you see, people use funny excuses all the time and they get away with it too.

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