Great Excuses

These Are Really Great Excuses

So you’re really into it up to your neck. Your back’s against the wall and you need a few really great excuses. if you were famous or a politician, you could get by with any old lame excuse like those found on our excuses quotes page but, no, you’re here.

You Need some Great Excuses

1. Of course those aren’t text messages, dear, that’s the latest installment of my Kindle romance novel.

2. No, of course it’s not a hickey. I was cleaning my car and got the vacuum hose stuck to my neck.

3. No those aren’t the hairs of a blond woman on my coat. A sheep dog jumped up on me.

4. No that’s not lipstick on the glass. I bit my lip and it was bleeding.

5. Yes I slept with her. It was a business trip and the hotel was out of rooms, but we didn’t have sex. Honest.

6. No I wasn’t looking at that woman’s butt. I was trying to see what brand of jeans those are because I was thinking how great you would look in them.

7. Yes, of course that was a woman’s voice you heard on the phone. It was the operator asking if I would take a collect call.

8. No, of course I didn’t forget our anniversary. I just haven’t been able to think of a gift worthy of you.

9. I wasn’t looking at that woman’s breasts. My eyes always bug out like that when I have a great business idea.

10. I wasn’t whistling at that girl; I was practicing the mockingjay call for when I go to the convention.

Are these excuses guaranteed?

If one of these doesn’t work, just return the unused portion and we’ll give you another excuse as to why it didn’t work. After all, that’s our specialty here and, don’t worry, they’re all great excuses.

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