Lame Excuses

These Are Certified Lame Excuses

The excuses on this page are for professionals who are high-profile figures in the media or high up in the government. These lame excuses are not for the average person to use. It is an established fact that, the further down you are on the social ladder, the better your excuses need to be. If you are an accountant or an insurance salesman and you have done something wrong, you need to go to the great excuses page right away.

Not Enough Lame Excuses

1. I would have called, but I’ve been really busy.

2. I didn’t come over because I had to wash my hair.

3. I was late because I overslept.

4. My dog ate my homework.

6. I didn’t call because I lost your number.

7. I couldn’t get a sitter

8. My cat wouldn’t stop sneezing.

9. I was just trying to avoid the crowd. (Actual excuse heard for attempting to cut in line)

10. We were just following orders.

Will these excuses work in the event of a nuclear war?

Absolutely. These excuses are perfect for the day after. Why did the president miss the Strategic Alliance Meeting? He was late because he overslept, of course. Why didn’t the president use the hot-line to Russia? Well, he’s been pretty busy lately. Or he could say that he lost the number. These will also work for rock stars and other media giants. Why didn’t the rock star show up for the concert? Well, obviously it was because his cat wouldn’t stop sneezing. Remember, don’t use these excuses unless you’re famous or in the government, although these excuses will work well for bankers but that’s pretty darn close to being in the government. If you study the page of excuse quotes you’ll see that these high-profile people don’t care what kind of excuse they give. That’s because they know they can get away with murder and don’t care what kind of lame excuses they make.

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