Sick Excuses

These Are Some Sick Excuses

Did you ever give someone an excuse and then they said; “Man, that’s a sick excuse!” Probably not. That leaves us to ponder, however, when some types ‘sick excuses’ into the Google search box, do they mean sick excuses as in excuses that are really good? Or do they mean excuses about being sick? Now, of course, they don’t mean excuses about being sick. Being sick is your excuse. I mean what is up with what people type into a search box sometimes? Of course you’re looking for made up excuses about being sick but do people type ‘made up excuses about being sick’ into a search box? No!

Sick Excuses about an Illness You Never Had

1. My laptop has a virus and I’m afraid it might be contagious.

2. I have a socially transmittable disease so I can’t log onto Facebook until I see a doctor.

3. Please excuse me from PE as I have penis envy.

4. I have sleep anemia and I’m afraid I’ll wake the other students in math class.

5. I have temporary amnesia quite a lot of the time.

6. I have Cotard’s Syndrome; I believe I am dead.

7. I have Jerusalem Syndrome and I need to stay home and await the Rapture.

8. I’m a vampire and I can’t go out during the day.

9.  I have the super flu and I’m too good to hang out with the rest of you peons.

10. I have the bird flu and I need to migrate south for the winter.

Are these excuses really sick?

Well, maybe not but then, neither are you. Anyway, here’s some tips on using these excuses: first of all, you’ll probably need a note from your doctor so, unless you have some compromising pictures of him with a nurse, you’ll need to make him believe you really have one of these illnesses. Most of them are quite easy but a couple you might not be familiar with. Cotard’s Syndrome, for instance causes the appearance of being dead. You will need to lie quite still and not breathe much to be convincing. Jerusalem Syndrome is characterized by a conviction that the world is going to end. You will need to get on your knees in your doctor’s office and pray a lot in preparation for the rapture to be convincing. Do your research and you will do well with these sick excuses. 

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